The time of year brings round the dreary chore;
A magic wand to wave is all I ask!
I hurry to the local supastore
To seek what best might mitigate the task.
Here lies the longed-for magic! Row on row,
Surpassing any skivvy’s wildest dream!
Here’s one to make my ancient saucepans glo,
Another guarantees my glass will gleem.
So eezee, kwik and worri-free it sounds,
It’s sure to cost a mint of money. What?
The valu-paks will save me £s and £s?
Then, thank you very much, I’ll take the lot.
How brite! How kleen! How fresh the house is smelling!
The spell is cast. A shame about the spelling.
(SPRING KLEENING first appeared in the Literary Review)