To read the latest issue, click 'Issues by year' in the menu above

Prince Charming’s Tale


I travelled through the forest long and far
and came across a cottage hidden there
where seven little men lived. Most bizarre! –
they kept the body of a lady fair
within a coffin clearly made of glass.
They told a tale of jealousy and spite,
and how the dreadful deed had come to pass –
the lovely girl took but a single bite
of poisoned apple. Now she does not live.
How fresh she looks! Her skin as white as snow
and lips like blood. I begged the dwarfs to give
me leave to take the coffin when I go.
I’ll take it home, and lovingly will park
it next to Hirst’s amazing pickled shark.


Jane Dards

(first published in The Oldie)