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If you visit the city of Wells
You will find you can’t think for the bells.
It’s a source of vexation,
Kills all conversation.


The posh-sounding people of Berrow
Pronounce the word Harrow as Herrow.
There’s a reason for this,
They’re not taking the piss –
It’s just that their mouths are quite nerrow.


A chaotic, bald artist from Chard
Found self-portraits both messy and hard,
But his paint-spattered pate
Is displayed at the Tate.
(Jackson Pollock, but more avant-garde.)


A Scots acrobat came to Priddy,
He did cartwheels that made us all giddy.
Did you see him? Well-built,
He was sporting a kilt.
And he didn’t wear underpants, did he?