Pat D'Amico: Mechanic's Dream
There’s a grinding sound from that gizmo
And a whine from this other thing.
It stopped in the rush hour traffic
With a plink, a plunk and a ping.
I would like you to try to fix it
Because this is the closest place;
And, sir, I wish you would kindly
Wipe that smile off your face.
♠ ♠ ♠ ♠
Susan Jarvis: Bewailing Kale
“Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds
if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.”
- Doug Larson
They say leafy and green is the healthiest scene;
munching kale by the bale is a boon.
Though try as I might to delight in each bite,
my luncheons are blighted with gloom.
But now I’ve been blessed with a tip that’s the best
for ploughing through chow that I hate:
add some coconut oil to the leaves as they boil
and they’ll slide in the bin from the plate!
♠ ♠ ♠ ♠
Tony Peyser: Jack Kerouac And His Critics
The writer who set millions
Of young readers free
Turned into a drunk who
Watched a lot of TV.
My hat’s still off to Jack.
For him I’ll always vouch:
He sent us on the road but
Wound up on the couch.
♠ ♠ ♠ ♠
Brian S. Lee: Boiling Point
“The kettle’s boiling: make the tea!
I’ve asked you several times,” said she.
“To boil the kettle, spout and lid,
You’d need more voltage than the grid
Is structured to supply,” he quipped,
“And it would kill us if we sipped
Our beverage of molten metal,
Should we evaporate the kettle!”
♠ ♠ ♠ ♠
Bruce McGuffin: The Golden Age of Science Fiction
Busty babes in space bikinis
under three red midday suns.
Spacemen fighting off green meanies
wield ornately-finned ray guns.
In the back a space ship hovers,
bulging, bulbous, chrome machine.
Why not judge books by their covers?
This one's good if you're thirteen.
♠ ♠ ♠ ♠
Emma Power: The Compromise
My jeans no longer agree
With these growing thunder thighs
Now my backside's joined the debate
Refusing the jeans' right to rise.
I plan to catch them off guard
With a clever compromise
And slip on a pair of jeggings
(Since they're stretched jeans in disguise)
♠ ♠ ♠ ♠
L.A. Mereoie: Unbrief Encounters
“In Jane Austen’s time knickers were slow to take off.”
- Article in The West Sussex Gazette.
With cheeks that were clearly not ashen
But a florid and purple-veined blend,
“A curse on this new-fangled fashion!”
Sir Jasper exclaimed to a friend.
“ It hinders the search for my ration
Of the thing once so hard to defend
Now I’m forced to delay, checking passion,
As their drawers require time to descend.”
♠ ♠ ♠ ♠
S.O. Fasrus: Cover-Up Story
I started wearing granny drawers quite early
Rejecting skimpy frillies as too girly.
A lover came - what lively interlockings ! -
But didn't want suspenders or black stockings!
He also said: "Not keen on wispy scanties.
My predilection is for ample panties."
You hear that, fashionistas? Cease your snickers
As not all men prefer exiguous knickers.
