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Captain Hook on old children's game card

Peter Goulding: Pantomime Stalwart

(Finish this one yourself!)

The pantomime stalwart
has lost his pizazz.
Oh no, he hasn’t.
OH, *** ** ***!

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Tony Peyser: An Itsy-Bitsy Bit
Of Mumbo Jumbo That May
Give You The Heebie-Jeebies

When the hoity-toity hob-nob
They willy-nilly annoy
The hurly burly nitty-gritty
Riff-raff of the hoi-polloi.

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Colin McKim:: A Word Of Caution

If you entertain a lynx,
Avoid all alcoholic drynxs!
That goes double for a llama.
No one needs the mmelodrama.

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Leslie Monsour: Parental Misguidance

We don’t choose disillusionment;
Our parents do that for us.
They hope to make us soloists,
When we should join the chorus.

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Robert West: The Billionaire Ponders His Exes

Life hands you a lemon,
you make lemonade –
or so say the women
whose fortunes I’ve made.

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Patricia Bradley: Medical Procedure

I examine my scab with some introspection.
Will it heal as it should, or develop infection?
I’ll lift up an edge to see how it’s doing . . .
And next, how to stop all the blood it’s now spewing?

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Elizabeth Horrocks: Man Of Many Parts

Leonardo drew a plan,
And labelled it Vitruvian Man.
Four arms, four legs, much genitalia:
If that's normal, I'm a failure!

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Pat D’Amico: Google Grab

Dear Mr. Google, my searches you snoop on
And then my privacy, you poop on.
My data, I know, is all up for sale
Since my inbox is deluged with targeted mail.

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Jane Blanchard: Just Saying

The pundits pause
at this impasse:
The voters may
stay home en masse.

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Leslie Monsour: Frost, Revisited

Frost knew enough of hatred and desire
To say the world would end in ice or fire;
But wind is deadlier, it seems to me,
From what I’ve seen of sheer stupidity.

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Robin Helweg-Larsen: Any Tourist Island

When the deep darkness dulls the dirty land
Before the moon meanders through the stars,
Invisibly the sea creeps up the sand
As night-blind drinkers lose keys to their cars.

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Jerome Betts: On The Verge

A gardener adds yet another damp load
To a smoky fire’s hisses and spittings
And strategically stationed alongside the road
Is a presage of seasonal grittings.

Roadside grit and sal bin