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If you can't find a Rubicon worth the crossing
And what's left of your teeth aren't worth the flossing
And you don't give a toss that's worth the tossing . . .

If you only see snow as potential slush
And a Michelin meal as intestinal mush
And it's months since you felt an adrenalin rush . . .

If life's jam's too thin and your bread's too thick
And you lose each hand of luck's three card trick
And your candle's burned the last of its wick . . .

If junk mail's all that your postman brings
And your inbox is empty, your phone never rings
And the Fat Lady hums but never quite sings . . .

You've only yourself to blame!