When in Rome, you conform to the cultural norm.
But what do you do when in Kalamazoo?
If you're late to a fete, do you have a long wait
in a queue, in Kalamazoo?
At a social affair, do the people compare
what they do, in Kalamazoo?
If you’re rude, or a prude, do you ruin the mood,
or milieu, in Kalamazoo?
Can an honest mistake inadvertently break
a taboo, in Kalamazoo?
Do you later regret if you’re high when you get
a tattoo, in Kalamazoo?
Do you try to be cool and pretend to play pool
with a cue, in Kalamazoo?
Do you wear a beret and write poems all day,
and feel blue, in Kalamazoo?
Do you frequently deal with a sense of surreal
déjà vu, in Kalamazoo?
Do the people confuse their opinions with news
that’s untrue, in Kalamazoo?
If you’re bothered by those who have stepped on your toes,
do you sue, in Kalamazoo?
Are the store shelves arrayed with commodities made
in Chengdu, in Kalamazoo?
On a specified day, do you piously pray
in a pew, in Kalamazoo?
If there’s something Divine, does it give you a sign,
or a clue, in Kalamazoo?
When you leave, do you yell sayonara, farewell,
or adieu, to Kalamazoo?
Though you might feel at home when you travel to Rome,
will you know what to do when in Kalamazoo?