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It roams the streets on chrome and alloy wheels,
insides concealed with specially darkened glass
drawing the stares of plebs and lesser mortals,
the residents of Ilkley groan to see it pass.

A new celeb the local Facebook page insists
as comments fly on such a vulgar car.
Who is this hidden stranger in their midst –
a politician, writer, movie star?

Swaggering round the town in crude display
trailing behind a cloud of noxious gas
he bullies smaller vehicles from the highway
eager to show that he’s got lots of brass.

At last, not far from Betty’s nice Tea Room,
it entertains the shoppers in the market
by scraping its expanse of shiny chrome.
while taking half a dozen goes to park it.

The monster finished shuffling to and fro,
the enormous door flies open with a squeal
blocking the less important traffic on The Grove . . .
The driver leaves the seat behind the wheel.

Then, what a shock the gentle townsfolk get
as not a single famous person is revealed
and just a tiny woman clambers out.
But that’s OK – because she’s so well-heeled.