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My congrats to you, class, on your memoir submission:
Over ten thousand words, it’s your first first edition;
But before you shell out to a Kindler or binder,
Please permit me to offer the gentle reminder
That of twelve million self-published books now available,
Less than one percent prove to be profitably saleable.
Now if that doesn’t turn your pink visage vermillion,
Note the net numbers blogs at just under a billion
And your kids, if they read, it’s a text or a tweet
Or one line of an email before they delete.
So you’re left with an audience of fellow students
In this workshop, who read out of peer-pressured prudence,
Plus your fond friends and family, whose obligation
Is to suffer politely your authorization.