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English football’s watched by rowdies,
yet it still attracts the Saudis.
Rich emirs from oil’s dominion
gravitate to this opinion:
petrodollars brought a boon
to the fortunes of The Toon;
billionaires from Abu Dhabi
bought a team that once was shabby—
nowadays they’re sitting pretty
reaping profits from Man City.

Is the UAE excited
by some scheme for Man United,
hoping Herculean labours
overwhelm their upstart neighbours?
Do the plutocrats of Qatar
plan to pluck Spurs from the gutter?
Maybe they believe it’s cool
taking over Liverpool.

Giant steps are there to take
for the social climbing sheik:
all those trophies to be won,
reinventing Everton!
Mid-east moneybags intrigue
to consume the Premier League.
How long till the vultures light on
some well-managed club—like Brighton?