Try not to bang the letterbox
Especially if it’s late,
Stampede upon the gravel drive
Or fail to shut the gate;
Delivering one’s flyer
Is a delicate affair;
Select a vulgar mansion
And one hasn’t got a prayer.
Be thoroughly observant
For the subtler signs of class;
No questionable ornaments
Or artificial grass;
They must have made some money,
Best of all some time ago.
Beware the vulgar mansion –
They won’t come to see the show.