To read the latest issue, click 'Issues by year' in the menu above

I planted this garden and hoed my own row,
It was fun when it started, but damn, do plants grow!
Too many tomatoes, cucumber encumbered,
The fruits of my garden are growing unnumbered.
What was a few seeds in two raised lettuce beds
Is now an unsettling crowd of green heads.
My potatoes are watching, my corn is all ears,
And I fear that a vegetable reckoning nears.
My only escape is a daring new plan
To get rid of these veggies as fast as I can.
Eating salads is key, ratatouille helps too,
But I can't eat enough to consume all I grew.
So I give away food, both the good and the baddish,
Some people hate eggplant and some despise radish.
I was holding my own, and I thought I might win
But then a disaster: zucchini came in!
Now I do what I must, neighbors think I'm a meanie.
I sneak on their porch and leave piles of zucchini.