For some reason people don’t want to meet me;
I go to a party, they won’t shake my hand.
I stand with my drink by the host, so discreetly,
smiling to show that I quite understand.
To the question of ‘What do you do?’ my reply
is ‘Disposal of what is no longer required’.
I’m always well-dressed, white shirt and black tie
and I keep a keen eye on the fragile retired.
I listen intently to those who’re complaining
of chronic conditions and delicate health.
I find their afflictions are quite entertaining
and pay close attention to signs of their wealth.
In the fulness of time, if you need a friend,
please count on me as your mover and shaker,
and when it’s last orders and nearing the end
I’ll be at your service, your smooth undertaker.