The bicentennial cricket match was the talk of the pub,
Played since 1821 against the neighbouring club.
I was regaled with tales of Lion Les (surname unknown),
A doughty batsman, who was as hard as stone.
In that very first match he had smashed a brave ton,
He battled bouncers and beamers, until the game was won.
Buoyed by these stories I agreed to play, what a fool!
I’d last played cricket in short trousers at school.
On the day of the match my apprehension was high
As the captains shook hands under a granite-grey sky.
We fielded first and soon it was my turn to bowl
But a distinct lack of practice had taken its toll.
My teammates were disheartened, and didn’t make a sound,
As the ball was despatched to all parts of the ground.
After I’d finished we took more control of the match
Until I slipped near the boundary and dropped a key catch.
At the half-time break my teammates ignored me,
I was alone with my sandwiches and a cup of tea.
I wondered ruefully how I had got into this mess,
While working my way through the egg and cress.
I was demoted to number eleven, I was so out of whack,
And watched from the side-lines as we went on the attack.
The runs were coming but we were losing wickets as well,
Which team would win? Only time would tell!
It was my time to come to the crease as another wicket fell,
With a lighting quick bowler now starting his spell.
I saw a man in the crowd with an untamed mane of hair,
He had large amber eyes and I was caught in his stare.
“Hey, use this”, he said, and gave me his bat with a grin,
“And just remember, you only need six to win!”
My knees were knocking as I walked out to the square
And the bowler fixed me with an evil glare.
He hurled the ball down but I wrapped up the match
By sending that ball flying into the clubhouse thatch.
I could see the chap in the crowd was cheering great guns
As everyone applauded and the umpire signalled six runs.
Suddenly I’d become the most popular person in the team
When I approached this man, as if in a good dream.
“Are you Lion Les?”, I asked, “the one our opponents feared?”
But he just roared with laughter, and then disappeared.