Masha Woollard: The Gardener's Lament



It's a very hard life as a gardener
as I'm sure everyone will agree,
so if sometimes I miss an appointment
there's always a reason, you see.

A garden needs rain, that's for certain,
And that can be all for the best,
but what people don't understand is
that a cold can go straight to me chest.

And when there's a spell of hot weather
and the sunflowers look up to the sky,
how can I get on with the digging
when the ground is so hard and so dry?

Cold weather is not any better
my spade won't go in half an inch;
and my poor old fingers get chilblains;
I tell you, it isn't a cinch.

But sometimes the weather is perfect;
not wet, nor too hot, nor too cold.
So that's when I go to the dentist,
or else my poor van feels too old.

So when I have promised I'm coming,
and you stand by the window in vain;
remember, it's hard for a gardener,
and when I turn up I’ll explain . . .

It's a very hard life . . .