I want to launch a toy this year.
I’m taking on Mattel
by mocking up a fashion doll
that’s sure to sell and sell.
She’s similar to Barbie dolls,
about twelve inches high,
but mine is as American
as McDonald’s Apple Pie.
You see I’ve super-sized her
with these pink foam stick-on pads.
She looks like the before pics
in those breakthrough diet ads.
She comes with Diet Drinks & Meals,
a pizza: large, Deep Pan,
a working mini-bathroom scales
and custom slimming plan.
Her clothes are all a size too small
except one flowery sack.
(The abs machine’s sold separately
so you can send it back.)
Now when you’re feeling overweight
but too depressed to diet
you force the doll to slim instead.
I know people will buy it!