When larks ascend with joyful shout
And glorify creation,
When sap is rising all about,
When comes the time to cast a clout,
The darling studs of May burst out
To swell the population.
Priapic, proud, alert, alive,
They rise to greet the day;
Testosterone in overdrive,
They single-mindedly contrive
To gain that end to which they strive:
To get their end away.
All principles, all conscience, flee.
All hail, vas deferens!
The lesson here, as you’ll agree,
Is manifestly plain to see:
When homo is erectus, he
Is seldom sapiens.
(Previously published in The Literary Review)