To show my love a little touch of glitz
I paid a fortune for some hothouse flowers,
Then found my central heating on the fritz
And all the blooms were dead in just two hours.
I laboured on an ode throughout the night
That spoke about my hopes; my fears; my aims.
I read it out to her by candlelight -
But poem, (and living room), went up in flames.
I took her to the coast and, in the sand,
Drew hearts and wrote her name in gothic script.
It melted her in just the way I’d planned.
‘A symbol of our love,’ I boldly quipped.
‘So long lives this and this gives life to thee.’
The tide rushed in and she was lost at sea.