I'd accept your invitation, but my present situation
Quite precludes such celebration, as my house has just burned
And the missus, whom I trusted, broke her wedding vows
For a chap who just got busted peddling heroin uptown.
Then my sister (she's the psychic) had the rotten luck to drown,
While my son the soccer player called his coach a nasty noun.
It's enough to make one frown!
I would love to share your table, but, again, I am not able,
As I just received a cable from my cousin in Corfu;
When the sun will next have risen he is going back to prison,
And he wants some things of his'n to be air-expressed
My employer has informed me that my job is toodle-oo,
Oh, and yes, my sainted mother has an Asiatic flu.
What a bloody how-de-do!
Perhaps some day we'll find a way to get together; let's!
But meanwhile I have told you why I'm sending my regrets.
Edgar Alan Scanlan