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Our home has a gadget, and I'd like to toss it;
I'm speaking of you, pal -- our all-in-one faucet.
You may be attractive, all modern and gleaming,
But let me assure you, there's nothing redeeming
About you. You'd be bad enough in a sink,
But here in our shower! -- before we can blink,
Your cold turns to hot and your hot turns to cold;
Okay for the young, but it's hell on the old.
We push, pull, and turn, with extravagant curses,
And cringe to see just what your gizmo disperses.
Thanks to a young gung-ho marketer's spin-off,
We're likely to scald a good part of our skin off.
What is the problem with hot and cold spigots?
Wanting them both, are we set-in-stone bigots?
Life could get worse, as we move into summer,
But I'm taking action; I've summoned a plumber.

Mae Scanlan