The world will end this week. We know it’s true;
We’ve read the Bible and we’ve done the math.
We’re bound for Paradise. The rest of you
Are due for some apocalyptic wrath.
You’ll suffer hell on Earth, then hell in Hell.
We’ll gaze down on your pain and degradation
From the bright realms of glory where we dwell.
Your doom will swell the joy of our salvation.
We scorn your silly scripture numerology.
Your Heaven and your Hell are not real places.
We’ll chortle when your bogus eschatology
Leaves you next week with egg on all your faces.
You’re smugly sure we’ll writhe in Satan’s fires.
To watch you likewise tortured might be nice,
But seeing you exposed as fools and liars
For the whole world to laugh at will suffice.