As I sit here, with precision,
Sipping on my potent potables,
I've just learned on television,
Preparation H has "totables!"
Tiny tubes of fast relief
For those who suffer "on the run".
This is big -- it ends much grief.
This is an important one.
I am glad for those who've earned this;
May their rectal problems shrink.
I just wish I hadn't learned this
As I had my evening drink.