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(Richard III plans for a night out after the battle)

In Bosworth’s Inn there works behind the Bar
A wench whose food and beauty are five-star,
Before whose plat du jour and youthful charms
Hath half my soldiery presented arms.

Full many have there been who, for their part,
Have sought to sample her full a la carte
But found their rough-cut ardour would not serve
For her to offer more than coy hors d’oeuvres.

Tonight I’ll seek to try her bill of fare
And hope to taste love’s fullest menu there
By heating her demeanour from demure
To boiling point by coffee and liqueur.

And then, conjoined, we’ll battle to disburse
The kingly contents of my privy purse
Which she will find can offer an amount
Of varied ways to settle my account.

Then will the winter of my discontent
Be glorious summer though my back be bent
When I her sweetest recipes do pick
And she her homage pays to good King Dick…..

But first I need to deal with this intruder,
The tiresome little Welshman, Henry Tudor.