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What have you done to our cousin Jack?
He was carefree, down to his core;
Then you appeared, and you interfered;
We don't know him any more.

What have you done to his derring-do,
To his passion for cakes and ale?
What has become of our former chum?
He might as well be in jail.

What have you done to the twinkling eyes
Of our epicurean cuz?
You schemed, designed, and you skewed his mind;
It hurts to the quick, it does.

What have you done to our laughing prince,
That irrepressible kid?
We want him back, for you stole our Jack.
You married him, that's what you did!