Brian Allgar: Apple Blossom Time

He had an apple for his lunch, a Cox’s Orange Pippin.
He ate the core, the pips and all, but then it gave him gyp in
His stomach. It went on for days; he thought he’d better nip in
To see the doctor. “Hmm”, said he, “I think I’ll have to slip in

A probe to see what’s going on.” He checked the large intestine:
An apple tree was growing there that birds had built their nest in.
He fixed a chainsaw to the probe and somehow got it pressed in,
But nothing could dislodge the tree that pigeons now had messed in.

The branches sprouted through the skin, and buds began to grow.
The tree grew tall, the patient died. He’s been embalmed, and so
His family now waits for Spring, and blossom white as snow -
They’re hoping that the corpse will win the Chelsea Flower Show.