Jerome Betts : Seasonal Socks Appeal

P. S. Have you abnormally large feet? This is vital information for any intending sock-knitter.’
- Letter

 

As both look far from overgrown,
   Just normal eights in size,
Cold feet are hardly mine alone
   Unless your postscript lies.

Therefore, dear good intender, this,
   To re-bespeak the rows
That form the fibrous chrysalis
   From which emerge half-hose.

Thick lovat yarn that doesn't felt
   When washed, would be ideal.
N. B. Elasticise the welt
   And reinforce the heel.

Do check your tension now and then
   And watch your rounds for slack.
(A large unsightly woollen wen
   Will seldom shrink right back.)

Cast on, cast off, and click away
   Defying knitter's block
If I’m to don by Christmas Day
   That welly-warming sock.

P.S. It’s vital winter wear
   For gales and floods and ice
Round plates, though frozen, still a pair,
   So kindly do it twice.