. . . and, behold, the whole herd of swine ran
violently down a steep place into the sea, and
perished in the waters. Matthew 8:32
NOTAP, The None Of The Above Party, wishes it
to be clearly understood that, as they attempt to
puncture our apathy like archers piercing
St Sebastian’s oil-painted torso,
May’s two main contenders leave our gorges rising
along with hot air over Parliament, only more so.
Whatever the waters they are determined to muddy,
One side remains grisly, and the other bloody.
Moreover, one of them now possesses a sort of
grotesque echo-chamber or annex,
And here we are referring not to the bunch that
was once upon a time headed by a leader with
pipe-ash on his Gannex
But to that which has been pressured and pushed
and politically barraged
And ultimately bewildered and befaraged.
Nor are most of us well qualified by geography
for one of the gangs with nationalistic tinges
As we don’t live on the UK’s fringes.
Therefore, should we − with apologies if these
manifesto-shaping musings are threatening
to become interminably loquacious −
Consider the doom-laden claims of those who
strive for a world less carbonaceous,
Or turn what some commentators would call
tactical or psephologically flibbertigibbety
And award our votes to the Bird of Liberty?
Unfortunately, this orange-yellow fowl has been
flying in bad blue company, a state of affairs
we deem toxic, even if constitutionally licit,
So, rather than present your face in a polling
station, we urge you to turn right round and
present something else, and they can all kiss it.