Chris O'Carroll: Sources Confirm That . . .

                        (For J.W.)

Haile Selassie won tiddlywinks tournaments.
Mother Teresa wore spurs and a bandolier.
Bono has stolen my Christmas tree ornaments.
Benedict Cumberbatch swings from the chandelier.

Harpo Marx played second base for the Diamondbacks.
All the Kardashians charged with the Light Brigade.
Amy Winehouse was allergic to Crackerjacks.
Marcel Proust drowned in a vat of hot marmalade.

Christopher Marlowe was fluent in Mandarin.
Wendy Cope asked for a hit of that weed I bought.
Yoko will love you no matter what band you’re in.
Kanga stabbed Eeyore, but stuffed toys don’t bleed a lot.

Maggie Smith swears by a diet of vindaloo.
Sigmund Freud built a gilt cage for his cockatoo.