David Galef: Tests

The Brimm­­‑Bramm Intelligence Test was designed by fools.
The Dohlens Difficulty Directives need six examiners to explain the rules.

The Bohm & Haley Repetition Rota takes a year to pass.
The Joe Smith Street Smarts Quiz favors the working class.

The Shape-Shifter Trials change on every date.
The Bolivian Army Exam takes into account your height and weight.

Kraft Foods has prepared an edible IQ test that's a bit bland.
Watt's Resources Practicum can be taken with just one finger and a rubber band.

The Anti­‑Counterfeit Test poses as a Department of Motor Vehicles form.
Searchers Keepers test­‑takers move from cold to warm.

GH's Sensory Exam is based entirely on odors.
Cope's Kinetic Test is powered by two 10­‑horsepower motors.

The Mordon IQ Test measures only stupidity.
The Leventhal Psychometry Test has been tried repeatedly on only one person: me.

Patent US 2001/0002490 A1 is for an intelligence test that blatantly flatters the test-takers.
Patent US 2001/0002490 A2 is for an intelligence test that subtly flatters the test-makers.

The LiveLong Somatic Scale is prejudiced toward physical beauty.
Archeologists have unearthed an aptitude exam from 10,000 BC.

Everyone who's endured the Moog-Zinburg Crowd Survey wants to ban it.
Scientists are still puzzling out an intelligence test sent by beings from another planet.