Edmund Conti: A Ulysses You'll Like

People who tell you that reading’s for sissies
Were never assigned James Joyce’s Ulysses.

The Law tried to help you by calling it porn
But a learned District Judge merely viewed that with scorn.

As for the sex scenes, the book seems to need them.
However, our judge notes, you don’t have to read them.

Since the sex is redeeming and therefore might bore you.
I made it my mission to read the book for you.

The first page begins with these words “Stately plump”
If you get through that then you’re over the hump.

Starting right off with a large capital “S”
And finishing, yes, with a capitalized “Yes.”

And in between those, just what have you got?
Leopold Bloom wandering, wandering, that’s what.

It’s June the sixteenth in Dublin fair (and ugly).
Oh yes, you say, Bloomsday. (Don’t say it so smugly.)

Wandering and wandering around the Big D
So it’s all rather like an . . . er . . . Odyssey.

Meanwhile, Readers, home raising the ante,
Hugh ‘Blazes’ Boylan has Molly flagrante.

Bloom’s doing Dublin so it hardly amazes
That Leopold’s Molly is going to Blazes.

Glad that you missed this? Here is my guess.
Yes, I think, Yes, I know, Yes, indeed, Yes.