J.D. Smith: On Second Thoughts, At Cana

Don’t think we’re not impressed with what you’ve done —
We weren’t expecting that from Joseph’s son —

But turn that back to water if you please.
We’re driving and, good Lord, the calories!

And while we have a bit of your attention,
A few more things we really ought to mention.

The salt, though salty, needs more iodine.
More fiber in the bread would be divine,

And fortify the sauce in which it’s dipped
With antioxidants. You seem equipped,

As well, to slim the lamb and fatted calf,
Unsaturate the lipids left by half

And let thick honey leave our teeth intact.
(So far, so good, but where’s your second act?)

Now give us superfoods, yet aid our fasting
And serve us, on demand, life everlasting.