Competition 34: A Line From Lister

The late R.P. Lister wrote a delightfully nimble piece which began, The trouble is with taxidermy . . . You are invited to supply up to sixteen lines of verse (though shorter offerings are always acceptable) which begin with the same first line, but with some scansionally appropriate substitution for taxidermy.

(Boris Johnson? Trump and Clinton? Cycle riders? Baseball players? Conservation? Modern living? Foreign travel? Competitions? Window-shopping? Dinner parties? Pickled gherkins? Budding writers?  Smartphone users? Growing older?  Learning Spanish?  Or what you will . . .)

Entries, headed Competition 34, via Submissions by 16th August please.