Orel Protopopescu: Monk Inflation

“Poor diet linked to soaring medical expenses . . . '
                                                   - Bangkok Post

Bad news from Thailand comes our way:
The monks are getting chunky.
Now nearly half of them have moved
from svelte to way past hunky.

Who knew that fasting noon to dawn
could make their lipids rise?
That offerings dropped into bowls
could swell to supersize?

Some devotees believe that monks
turn junk food into manna,
that feeding ancestors through them
is one route to nirvana.

Ye faithful, hold the greasy snacks!
They’ll never bring good karma.
It’s sad that monks must swallow alms,
as is their sacred dharma.

Too bad your poor dead uncle loved
fried noodles and sweet teas.
Stop killing him again with them
through monks who’ve lost their knees!

Perhaps a meditating monk
can move a mountaintop.
But when did meditation get
a single pound to drop?

Give proteins, fruits and vegetables.
Stop fearing uncle’s curse!
The monks won’t hog the hospitals.
You’ll save the nation’s purse!