To read the latest issue, click 'Issues by year' in the menu above

Meet With The Potatoes'. (Item on a menu
outside a restaurant in the Canary Islands.)

I’m going to meet with the potatoes
They’re the kind of spuds you like
They’ll all be wearing jackets
And they won’t be made by Nike.

There’s the lovely Maris Piper,
King Edward, known as Ted.
If he ever marries Maris
He’ll need eyes in the back of his head.

I once loved a hot potato
But she couldn’t have been colder
She was inclined to waffle
And had a big chip on her shoulder.

If I was a potato
I’d get roasted in a tin
But I’ll never be a potato
‘Cos I’m comfortable in my own skin.