Conrad Geller: Just My Bill

The meal was great,
the best I ever ate,
I’ve had my fill.
I wonder what will become of me
now that I have my bill.

Here’s sirloin strip−
Does that include the tip?
My credit’s nil.
I came here without my Master Card
to pay this costly bill.

For crème brûlée
It’s far too much to pay.
I’ll have to change my will.
My mortgage will be in deep arrears
with this outrageous bill.

It’s a disgrace,
such an ordinary place,
and the food is swill.
I’ll pay it, although I don’t know why,
because it’s just my bill.