(According to The Wall Street Journal,
the prevalence of moles in England
has given rise to keen rivalry among
a new generation of eradicators.)
The English who attempt to farm
Find moles have much too little charm.
This sentiment is shared by those
Who bowl for highs or golf for lows.
For hire are people who profess
To root out moles with great success.
A ban on strychnine means a rod
Is stuck through mounded soil or sod.
A trap is then set in the hole
To spring upon a hapless mole.
Some decent money can be made
By members of this lethal trade.
The cagiest compete to sell
Their expertise through show-and-tell.
Such evidence is paramount
When pay depends on body count.