Joanna Bird: Diet Riot

Vegetarians never eat gammon,
They refuse to put meat in their tums.
Pescetarians say yes to salmon,
While fruitarians mainly eat plums.

There are sub-groups called ovo and lacto
(So pertaining to dairy and eggs.)
Vegan’s animal-free: ipso facto
Such a diet will never have legs.

With the macrobiotic refinement,
There's concern for your yang and your yin,
So your chakras remain in alignment -
Plus it’s probably good for your skin.

Pollotarians tuck into turkey,
(So if you're a mammal, then phew!)
Kangatarians nibble on jerky,
Which was once a complete kangaroo.

If you're thinking of changing your diet,
Bear in mind that we are what we eat.
Pescetarian? Go ahead, try it!
But you'll end up with fins for your feet.