Patrick Biggs: Incentivisation

My boss rolled up to work in a Mercedes,
A German brute that made him overjoyed.
Perhaps he bought it to impress the ladies,
Perhaps for reasons posited by Freud.
I’d like to tell my boss to go to Hades,
But also I would like to stay employed.
“Nice car,” I said. “I’d kill for such a ride.”
To this, my sharkskin-suited boss replied:

“If you adopt a can-do disposition;
If you’re prepared to go the extra mile,
Display initiative, exert volition,
And set your targets higher all the while.
If truly you’re a man upon a mission
To overcome each challenge with a smile,
Well, son, you’ll be appreciated here,
And I will buy a better car next year.”