Gillian Ewing: Robert Burns Tries Emailing

Wee laptop with your magic ways
You may be but a passing craze,
Still you sent mail without delays
And brought replies,
Which made you worthy of some praise
In this man's eyes.

Until a message came at speed
From someone strange who bade me heed
My potency, augment my seed!
I smashed the screen.
The only sex-aid that I need
Is bonnie Jean.