Giving things up becomes easy
once you’ve taken the first tricky step:
stopping sugar in tea shows the way to be free –
rest assured it’s a stroll not a schlep.
Yes your head will be clearer and cleaner
If you cut out the fags and the booze,
while a life without meat is a do-able feat
once you’re looking for what else to lose.
It’s a fact that the kicks just get greater
when you make self-denial an art
and find doing without only adds to your clout
as your new and your old self part.
Not watching TV? Not a problem!
Nor to switch off my iPad for good.
Hard-earned money’s a bore which I’ll give to the poor
as a modern-day Robin Hood.
I shall gift my guitar to a nephew,
half my clothes to the Oxfam shop –
now I’ve got myself straight I can drop any mate
who can’t see that to have is have not.
And I’m sorry to say that you’re simply
the item that’s next on my list –
oh but what’s that you say? That you feel the same way?
That a dumb jerk like me won’t be missed?
Then I’m off down the pub, to get pissed . . .