Alex Barr: Say It Again, Sam

Some are born deaf. Some achieve deafness
with loud music. Me it's thrust on. I can't tell Serifos from Sifnos
Skylarks sing but I never hear their larking.
A parking sensor fails to warn me when parking.
As for speech, okay, I hear the low register, i.e. vowels
Which resonate deep in my bowels,
But forget the high register, i.e. consonants.
They just sound like nonsonants.
So at each social gathering
The wittiest wit just sounds to me like blathering.
Worse still, I’m regarded as iniquitous
Because my own sparkling contributions are non-sequitous.
Two or three thousand pounds for two small gizmos
Would make me more charismous
But leave no money for clothes. So although I’d be glad I had ‘em,
My deaf-aids would leave me as naked as Eve and Adam.