Stewart Bartlam: Dumbphone

Consider the tyranny of the smartphone.
It pulls all your strings; no mere dog and bone.
You twitch and turn; you jerk your head.
You could just use a dumbphone, instead.

No camera, no internet, no rattle and hum.
It’s beautifully formed; a neat discreet chum.
A keyboard too small to use with your thumb;
but who needs to do that? It’s perfectly dumb.

You can text and call, all you need as you roam;
for anything else, there’s your laptop, at home.
No pressure, no hassle; be unfettered, free;
in total command of your life, like me.

Invest in your time and don’t waste your moolah.
Escape from the reign of the smartphone misruler!