Melissa Balmain: The Witch Demands A Retraction

What malarkey! Let’s start with the bread that they crumbled –
   it wasn’t the last dinner dealt
to a woodcutter’s children whom hardship had humbled,
   but eight-bucks-a-loaf quinoa-spelt.
And those kids were escaping from some highfalutin
   and health-conscious borough in haste;
having heard of my haven of sugar and gluten,
   they desperately wanted a taste.
How I pity such tots, with their sad deprivations:
   the flavorless tofus and greens,
the zucchini-banana-and-hemp-seed libations,
   the M&M-free Halloweens.
So I fed them! They loved me! They called me their auntie!
   I gave every possible treat!
(Till the day that I gobbled them down with spumante.
   We selfless old hags have to eat.)

 

Gretel and Hansel on old children's game cardOld children's game v