Portrait of Samuel Pepys looking left

Max Gutmann: Restoration Clerihew

Samuel Pepys
Is worth the study of anyone who keeps
A diary; the first step is
Learning not to call him Samuel Pepys.

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Peter Johnson: Inspiration

(With apologies to W.W. and W.B.Y)

It was bliss to wake up in that dawn
and I eagerly greeted the morn.
  I leapt out of bed
  with a rhyme in my head
and a terrible limerick was born.

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Chris O’Carroll: Disturbance in the Force

Afterlife Jedi pals
Yoda and Obi-wan
Toasted a host of new
Stories to tell:

‘Here’s to the franchise’s
Let spinoffs spin till the
Freezing of hell.’

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Jim King: Roundness Is All

A heretical ex-Cantabridgian
concocted a novel religion.
   Although deemed audacious
   His creed was curvaceous
As he worshipped all forms callipygian.

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L.A. Mereoie: Proviso

A plump roadkill pheasant
Makes a good Christmas present
If the plumage is off
As the plucking’s unpleasant.

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Julia Griffin: Marinating

There once was a Person from Porlock,
Who longed for a bolt or a door lock
  To guard him against
  The confessions dispensed
By a Mariner groomed like a warlock.

His speech, besides toothless and slurred,
Was judged by the Person absurd:
  And it seems that the crew
  Took a similar view,
From the fact that they gave him the bird.

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John Wood: Trunk Call

Trumpily clumpily
Nellie the elephant
Nightly, politely
Her audience thrills.

Hearing a summons, she
Packs her belongings and
Takes to the hills.

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Tom Schmidt: Hai

disappoint, like Feb.

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L.A. Mereoie: Dram And Blast

A stalker, whose intake of drink
Had left his wits poised on the brink,
   Fired his rifle one day
   At a beast which, they say,
Had no antlers, but tusks, and was pink.

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Max Gutmann: Warm Welcome

Flyery highery,
Jolly St. Nicholas
Soars to your chimney, a
Bringer of cheer.

Do keep the fireplace
Please, no repeat of what
Happened last year.

Fire burning in ireplace