Janice Canerdy: Nervous Hands

Did you know nervous hands can cause problems?
Let me tell you, folks, I know they can!
Hear my tale of a fidgety woman
and her equally jittery man.

At a conference, they became restless
as the speaker just droned on and on.
Though they tried to give him their attention,
they just couldn’t. Each stifled a yawn.

He began to drum HARD on the table
with his fingernails—thumpity-thump.
The presenter and others shot daggers
with their eyes at this troublesome chump.

Then he popped EVERY one of his knuckles,
dropped his papers all over the floor,
rattled change in his pockets − jing-jingle.
Sitting by them, I silently swore.

She was busy with other distractions,
searching noisily through her huge purse
for her Bic, which she clicked with great fervor.
Could things possibly get any worse?

Yes! She rattled a hard-candy wrapper
in each hand on and on with true verve.
Then she “combed” her long hair with her fingers.
These two trampled my very last nerve!

You must wonder why nobody told them,
“You can leave, or we’ll toss you head first.”
You just can’t eject business owners
even when they’re the absolute worst!