I
Truffles hates me. How he growls,
The little chap’s in quite a stew.
He greets me with such hostile vowels
It has to be a bad review;
Sad. I thought that we were friends.
I hope that he will reinstate me,
Though I fear what he intends;
TRUFFLES HATES ME
II
Truffles hates me. How he scowls;
There’s method in it, where he fouls –
I think he’s spoiling for a fight.
Truffles isn’t very bright;
He cannot speak, and so he growls.
He cannot sing, and so he howls;
Slobber wobbles from his jowls.
Why must he serenade the night?
Truffles hates me.
There’s no mistaking where he prowls:
He gifts the products of his bowels.
Truffles, dear, it’s not polite;
You’re two foot high and full of spite,
Though yesterday we two were pals;
TRUFFLES HATES ME
III
My former friend is passing by –
He bares his teeth and contemplates me.
Nonetheless I smile, and try
To understand why Truffles hates me.
I meet his owner’s baleful eye;
She knows how much her pet deflates me.
Do I see her smile? I try
To understand why Truffles hates me.
I aim to feed him on the sly.
Her voice grows shrill as she berates me.
Though friendship can’t be bought, I try
To understand why TRUFFLES HATES ME
IV
Truffles hates me. Oh, surprise.
I had not wit in me to know
That I was nothing in his eyes,
That I could slip from friend to foe
As rapidly as brambles grow;
To love is to become unwise.
That’s the way it tends to go;
Truffles hates me. Oh, surprise.
Love invites. Its tendrils rise,
A weed that mocks the busy hoe,
A heady scent that draws the flies.
I had not wit in me to know
That Truffles, who has brought me low,
Was bitter winter in disguise,
That thorns will creep where lilies blow;
That I was nothing in his eyes.
The chill of his goodbyes
Could freeze the falling rain to snow.
Should I have read it in the skies
That I could slip from friend to foe?
TRUFFLES HATES ME