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Selflessness, stoicism and stamina 
against the tides of household air movement 
are the qualities expected 
of the blind mole-rat draught excluder. 

Susceptibility to cold-induced agues 
could quickly result in replacement 
with the more traditional fluffy anaconda 
or the ridiculously elongated sausage dog. 

Cravings for an action-filled existence 
would have to be supressed if one desired 
a life of nestling anonymously 
at the foot of any allotted domestic doorway. 

Draft exclusion is a sacrificial pursuit. 
Yet how many blind mole-rats secretly dream, 
like the Sidney Cartons of home insulation, 
of better places to lay their heads? 

How many long for a life of rodenting around, 
toothily flashing impressive incisors, 
burrowing in five-kilometre tunnels, 
gnawing in darkness at root and loam, 

consorting in cooperative colonies, 
carousing with their sand puppy cousins, 
the short-tailed and naked mole-rats 
of eastern Europe and Africa? 

O blind mole-rat draught excluder, 
tasked and dormant on the threshold, 
‘tis a far, far better thing you do . . .  
Your heroics have not gone unnoticed.

Greater blind mole-rat looking left