"Yeet!"said the Zoomer. “That’s totally cash!
Old Man, you got drip out the door!
Like, how did you grow such a serious ‘stache?
That’s fire! It’s down to the floor!”
“The obvious answer,” the Boomer professed:
“I’m highly reluctant to snip
the hair (as you could’ve so easily guessed)
that grows on my upper-most lip.”
“That’s valid,” asserted the curious kid.
“I’m just a bit salty because
my facial hair’s always, like, coming in mid.
So, how do I glo-up my fuzz?”
“Perhaps,” said the codger, “that noisome device
(you’re holding a foot from your head)
has caused you to pay a regrettable price:
it rendered your follicles dead.”
“Facts,” said the boy, as he twiddled his screen.
“For real, though—no trying to cap:
You rizzing the Gucciest snacks on the scene?
Would a ‘stache get me ladies that slap?”
“No woman,” the senior said, “(in her right mind)
would swoon at your pitiful scruff.
As for snacking, be warned: the mustachioed find
consumption decidedly tough.”
“Bet,” said the shaver. “But, Fam, I admit
you got me all wondering, like,
just what about having a ‘stache is so lit?
(I’m filming, so talk in the mic.)”
“You dunce!” cried the old-timer, mulberry-faced.
“Go ask me ten minutes ago!
How much of my day are you aiming to waste?
Grow one and maybe you’ll know!”
Glossary
Bet—Of course
Cash—commendable
Cap—lie
Drip—style
Facts—I agree
Fam—Buddy
Fire—amazing
Glo-up—improve
Gucci—high quality
Lit—wonderful
Mid—unremarkable
Rizz—to charm
Salty—jealous
Slap—exude excellence
Snack—attractive woman (or man)
Valid—understandable
Yeet!—How extraordinary!