(With apologies to Billy Joel)
It's 9 o'clock on a Saturday
And the Asda delivery's late
They've sent me a text to say that I'm next
So I trot out to open the gate.
They say that my driver is Jonathan,
That they've only got medium sliced bread
And this morning they're clean out of broccoli
So they've sent me a pumpkin instead.
Well Jonathan shows up eventually
He's recently moved from Sheerness
He thinks it's a pity United beat City
And I tell him I couldn't care less.
He's hoping to open a coffee bar
His wife is an excellent cook
He's also a talented novelist
But no-one will publish his book.
I tell him I like to write poetry
To post on an internet wall
Would he be averse to appearing in verse?
He assures me he wouldn't at all.
He offers to help with the packing
Is there anything else he can do?
He couldn't be "warmer or friendlier"
So I'm posting this five star review.