I think I'll buy that new cologne
And have the life the ads have shown.
The air around will fill with sighs
And all will stare with lustful eyes.
The second stop's a dining chain
Where smiling staff will soothe my strain,
Ensure my pasta never ends,
And treat me like the best of friends.
Because I smell and look so fine,
The waitress getting off at nine
Will write her number with a wink
And meet me later for a drink.
She'll see the brand of car I drive
And beer I order at the dive
And know I'm what the ads have said
Is just the sort a gal should wed.